"I don't like sex"
Again today, I was at a meeting at which teen comments taken during oral interviews were reported. One of the prevalent comments mentioned was that teen girls admit they don't like sex. As usual, that item met with no comment. I hope other adults in that room, as state leaders in the prevention of teen pregnancy, have been mulling over what the adult response to that should be. I've come up with a few translations of those 4 words--"I don't like sex":
1) Girls are sounding a "cry for help". They want to break the cycle and need help doing so.
2) Girls don't have good reasons for their sexual activity.
3) Girls don't understand that their own sexuality is more than performance of a sexual act.
4) Girls don't understand that females need relationships and love to make the physicality of sex good for them.
5) Girls are being used.
6) Girls are not in control and recognize something is amiss.
So it would seem the adult response could be:
1) Who?-- Teach girls about building relationships and identifying males that they can love and will love them.
2) What?--Teach girls about their bodies, the chemicals and hormones at work, and brains--the scientific reality of sex.
3) When?-- Teach girls why the best sex they will ever have will be with their husband.
4) How?--Teach girls to be more erotic and self-stimulating.
The fourth option is what's left if you are not motivated to help a child choose abstinence until marriage. Too many adults want to stand by and "respect" a child's "private" choices. I contend that is self-protection, not child protection. Every scrap of evidence proves that teens and young adults are mentally incapable of those choices without consistent adult support and guidance. It's not an easy task for adults to take on. But the future demands it.
The safe sex mantra is harming our kids, our families and our society. People in our inner cities are crying for an alternative approach to save their people.
Silence is not an option.