I taught my first class of teens this week--kids at Project Excel, a last stop for kids in the juvenile justice system, dropouts, most already parents. They seemed to be there "earning points" and visibly let you know that wasn't a great reason to get up in the morning. Although I greeted each at the door, few acknowledged me. The chair worth fighting for was in the back corner of the room as far from me as they could get. This was going to be an hour of muddling through IF I was lucky.
I know I told them things they had never heard before--information about the teen brain, how their body was made to respond to sex, how promiscuity messes up their bodies'/minds' ability to bond, sends them into a kind of sexual depression that has to get fed with a natural, or synthetic, mood leveler. From their "body language", I wasn't expecting the questions, the good comments, the unexpected decisions they would make if "in charge" of some of our sexual epidemics. I wasn't expecting much and I got far more than expected. A girl who had stared into space for the entire class was the one who came up afterwards and asked for more information, offering to distribute it to the others. A young man said he just couldn't give up sex but was willing to listen again to the explanation that he actually craves friendship and relationship, a bonding of two whole persons, rather than sex. He seemed to understand that. I drilled and drilled on the necessity of being tested for STI and HIV if they were sexually active--that seemed to be a new concept! What they didn't want to do was hurt someone by having sex with them--it was a recognition that the sexual act was suppose to have meaning.
I find I am yearning to return, to see if we can move into real discussions, to try some of the teaching methods I didn't have time to use and probably wouldn't work on the first day. If I misinterpreted what actually happened, I would have to believe they are also beyond change for any of their behavior. I can't do that because I believe adults got them to the point where they are at. As I told them "Our lives are shaped by those that love us and those that do not." (John Powell, SJ). They have a lot to overcome, but they can do it, if they can put legitimate anger about their lot in life aside and take control. They just need so much help and prayers.
