Thank you, Polly Drew!

Ms. Drew gave any abstinence education advocate all the ammunition one needs in just one column! Yes, Polly, you do see nothing wrong with teen oral sex. You have swallowed the entire weird viewpoint of the most extreme sexologists in the country.

Citing the moral criteria of SIECUS (SexualityInformation and Education Council of the United States) is downright offensive. This is the organization built by the followers of Kinsey. The "US" in the acronym means nothing more than it exists in the United States--the organization has no other stature, no authority, no proven credibility. Yet, their comprehensive sex education keeps getting shoved down our throats.

In their terms, a moral sexual relationship is : "consensual, non-exploitive, honest, mutually pleasurable and protected against STI and pregnancy". No love, no caring, no commitment, no meaning and no positive outcomes. Sex is pleasure with a barrier. Anyone who says yes--no matter the age, the sobriety, the duress or any other state of mind of the participant--makes sex morally correct. That covers the unpublicized, Kinsey idea that any sex is good sex if a "Yes" is involved. Its the theory that allows a rape victim to be attacked in court for provoking the crime. Its what gives clinics the illegal pass to not report men who impregnate minors. Its what will come up again and again in Michael Jackson's trial--the verbiage "he loves children", "he wouldn't hurt any child" ergo sex with a child is loving and not hurtful.

Ooops! But to be fair--they threw in "non-exploitive, honest". Now just how does a partner know in advance if both of them meet that criteria? Oh, I forgot. Partners are suppose to sit down before sex and discuss their intentions, the number of previous partners, their history of STI testing and treatment, explain expertise with their birth control, read the condom package together to assure "correct usage" and then mutually incorporate proper use into their sex acts. Parents, that is what your kids are being taught to do. Role playing this scenario is incorporated into sex ed to make kids "comfortable" with safe sex.

Ms. Drew also seems to think that teens just came up with this idea to separate "fooling around", that can include oral sex, from intercourse. Teens didn't. Neither did Bill Clinton. It has been a systematic, ideological campaign. Websites, just like the cited www.goaskAlice.columbia.edu, have pushed "outercourse" to avoid pregnancy for years. Teens surfing the net for love and relationship advice, usually not sex, get googled right to these advice sites through clever metatags. Today, probably toned down by fear of legal repurcussions, they are prefacing everything with an "abstinence is best" disclaimer. But it is at these sites where teens are advised that showering together can be a fun, safe debut to their sexual lives. Oral sex as safe sex has been almost a motto. Only in the last few years, when evidence showed STIs were occuring in the mouth and throat, were condom warnings added.

Then Ms. Drew returns to her "certified" and "respected" sex therapist for further advice. How dare anyone assume that a human being cannot control a sex drive with sheer brain power. Without our intellect, we are just animals. Which, of course, is another tenet of the Kinsey crowd--primitive urges are natural and should not be controlled. The primitive sex urge in the brain stem and intelligence getting stuck far away in the cortex is alot of hokus-pokus to make people think there is a reason they don't have to use their heads.

Finally, Ms Drew defames teens' curiousity as what will lead them to earlier and more frequent experimentation with sex. All adults have to do is keep a step ahead of them with info to keep them "safe". That is the role adults now have? No guidance, no modeling, no rules, no standards. Just let teens follow their primitive urges and curiosity. Don't let parents have any say just in case they could have influence. The only "right" a parent has is to pick up the pieces when their child's life falls apart from recreational sex.

By the way, all the Scandinavian teens might be proving in their sexually "open" countries by waiting to have sex is that they are smart enough to see the destruction sex has wrought in their lives and their families. Our teens are just as observant even when adults like Ms. Drew and Ms. Foley want to hide those facts.