USA Today:"Cohabitation is replacing Dating"

Cohabitation has increased ten-fold since 1960. Eight percent of US coupled households are unmarried cohabitators; about 10 million people. Most are between the ages of 25 to 34. Cohabitation arrangements generally last two years. For those that cohabitate for 5 years, only about 50% get married.

Reasons to cohabitate are economic and social and the couples might not share the same reasons. New research shows women view cohabitation as a step before marriage whereas men see it as the step before any degree of commitment. Women are romantic; men are practical. Women improve the men's lifestyle. Another study indicates that men who live with their wives before marriage aren't as committed to the marriage as those who do not cohabitate first.

The new twist on all this is that couples now view marriage as sacred, an ideal, a forever thing--like this is a new concept. But getting married now requires practice before the ceremony. Potential candidates are tried out and pass or fail "the test". What test? What is there in the existence of twenty year olds that can predict whether or not they make the perfect person, spouse or parent in a couple of years or over a lifetime? Marriage is not a moment caught in time although the wedding might be. Marriage is an evolution of two people involved in a journey of love. The bad times are not pass/fail because love sustains both people. The couple become new people because of their love. They aren't suppose to be the same people as the day before their wedding. What makes a person a good spouse doesn't need to be tested by cohabitation because it is most apparent in his/her character, beliefs and other relationships.

Those that cite the rise of cohabitation as a link to lower divorce rates are forgetting that cohabitators split up at a higher rate than marrieds. Those that consider it their right to cohabitate should at least realize that might be all there is. If they want more, they might wait too long in the "test the waters" stage.