Congrats, Milwaukee

In the last year, the birth rate for girls ages 15-17 dropped from 55.43 births per thousand to 50.03. I applaud all those who combined their efforts to make this happen. I am glad that they attributed part of the reason to delaying sex which I think girls are discovering gives them much happier lives regardless of pregnancy avoidance.

I just wish the pregnancy rate was reported to see if it dropped that much. Generally in this age group, pregnant teens abort the baby whereas the older teen or young woman will keep the baby. It's one reason for the discrepancy in birth rates among age groups; the downturn in under-17 yr old births is countered by an upswing in 18-21 yr.old births. So the pregnancy rate could be about 12-15 points higher if the trends of the past hold.

I hope success with this one aspect of teen sexual behavior will motivate prevention efforts to turn their attention to the young girls themselves. Just as the public outcry forced United Way to recognize the sexual use and abuse of young girls as part of the teen pregnancy problem, I hope the rumblings I hear about the extreme anger and sexual acting out of girls will be addressed so that we can meet their emotional needs making them whole and happy again.

"We Are Family"

Milwaukee Public School's new Human Growth and Development curriculum for Grades K-5 is an eye-opener. I had never seen "family" defined as "two or more people who care for each other", especially to five year olds. These kindergarteners then get to describe their family--how many grandparents, how many aunts and uncles, how many brothers and sisters, how many cousin. Missing was the category of "parents".

I checked online dictionaries and did find that the definition of "family" still uses terms like "one or two parents and their children", "spouse and children", "persons related closely by blood", "descendents of a common progenitor". At Dictionary.com, the 10th definition came close to the MPS definition: "two or more people who share common attitutes, interests or goals and frequently live together". The provided example of this "family" was a hippie commune in the 60s.

So why would MPS decide not to use a more conventional definition of family? I am sure there was some immediate concern for the many children who do not have traditional families, except it only seems to apply to their parentage. The teaching is definitely aimed at family diversity which lets words like marriage, parents, spouses, Mommy, Daddy fall by the wayside. So is diversity okay as long as the mom, dad and kids version is never mentioned?

So we teach 5 year olds, reinforcing the lesson each year, that "caring for each other" solely defines family. That is emphasized with a Chore Chart so the kindergartener can "care" for his family. What happened to love, family lineage, safety, stability, child-rearing, etc.?

Are the pimp and his "girls" a family? Is a cult a family? Are the people in a hospital or office a family? Is a school community a family? Is a football team a family? Perhaps the waters got muddied when the word "family" was applied to each such as the Manson Family, the Marquette High family, the Kohls Store family, the Packers Family. While its great to feel special with caring people, these aren't real families, even if at some point they are substitutes.

So what should schools reinforce--the local norm, the trendy or the traditional version of family?
In my opinion, school have a responsibility to the individual child and to society. Right now, every shred of research indicates children, adults and society benefit most from the married parent family. So what sense is it to not at least give it some mention? Maybe children might even want to consider that option for their future!

I worry when education decides to play by their own rules to change dynamics in society. But then, I'm one of those nut cases that crossed out "Guardian" in "Parent/Guardian" on forms. It wasn't disrespectful of those wonderful people who raise another person's child but in respect for the role I had in my children's lives.